It's our Mardi Gras Sale!

For our annual Mardi Gras sale we thought we’d go Big & Colourful and offer you 50% off All Shells, All Coral and Fire Agate products. This includes popular and favourite products such as Abalone, Fossil Coral, Red Coral and much, much more.

To view the complete list of sale items, please visit: Stones and Findings SPECIALS

Our offer is only valid from Tuesday February 2nd, 2010 to Monday February 15th, 2010!
*Minimum order of $150.00 still applies.

Please Note: Our showroom will be closed on Monday, February 15th for Family Day. However you can still place an order online at www.stonesandfindings.com to qualify for the sale. Happy Shopping!

Sterling Silver Components Are Worth the World

I often lament that I am not in the medical field, researching cures for a contagious and deadly disease, or that I am not contributing more to society as Gandhi had. I've only recently realized how much happier I am that I did not become a lawyer, as I had aspired to be, and as most of my friends have become. Nonetheless, there are moments in the quiet hours of my evenings that I feel I have not contributed as much to society as I feel I possibly could. After all, jewellery making , and to a finer point, sterling silver components is often thought of as superfluous. The world of fashion is rather superficial, and I often wonder what evolutionary purpose does adorning oneself really serve? Are we not intelligent enough to see that outer appearance is not necessarily indicative of one's inner qualities? However, I oscillate between loathing all things physically beautiful and embracing them as things that make us feel good, and thus make us human, and therefore, important and necessary, and even desired.

I recently read an article about music and the possible purpose it serves as part of human mating rituals. It takes a great deal of time to master an instrument. So, it must serve an important purpose in our evolutionary selection. The researchers theorized that musical talent indicates vigorousness, coordination and health. I am tone deaf. But my saving grace is that I am artistic , i.e. super visual, great with colour and can remember a picture as clearly as....a picture. So, this is what I tell myself, and it's proven positive that my husband didn't just make a mistake, but rather I was selected by higher order.

I was a guest on the panel of specialists in Style by Jury, where a would-be jewelery designer was going through transformations. There was a therapist on board. He's done many talks and works with a number of Hollywood Stars. He mentioned that things that are commercially successful are things that make us feel good. It is human nature. For some reason what he said that night made a lot of sense, though as simple and commercial as it may seem. In its smallest denominator, I want beautiful and unique sterling silver components that speak to me and make jewelery designing easy and pleasurable. I want jewelery that I design make people feel good about themselves, removing them from the doldrums of the ordinary.

I recently realized that I am but a small cog in a large wheel. However, I do contribute in important ways. Someone at a tradeshow once said "Creativity is cheaper than therapy." This is very true, and we create happiness for many. Our sterling silver components create employment and livelihood for many people and their families. Our happiness as jewellery designers creates joy for those around us. We contribute in many small, and large, ways.

Although I still hope that one of my children end up in the medical field or decide to dedicate their lives to a more visible good of mankind, I'd be very happy if they were happy, doing whatever they can apply themselves doing. I'd be equally happy and proud if they decided to create beautiful jewellery to improve other people's moods and for people to admire as I would be if they became brain surgeons. I think I'd be very especially proud and touched if designed jewellery and when they come upon sterling silver components that I've designed, they think I've done a great job; for this is my life, and jewellery components is my passion. I have decided to contribute to this world the best way I know how, and to make a mark by touching someone's life and jewellery designs . I am living the life exactly how I want to, designing with pride, and enjoying every minute of it. And I am positive I'm contributing more to society than any of my lawyer friends.

Click here to browse through Stones and Findings' sterling silver components!

Jewelry Parent Concerned about Sexual Predators 2

Parents should teach their children to be alert of dangers without robbing them of their childhood and happiness. Aside from letting my kids sketch alongside me when I am designing sterling silver components, I make an effort to engage them in conversations about being careful when I am not there with them.

Continued from Jewelry Parent Concerned about Sexual Predators 1 here are some more tips and advice from a parenting coach:

Help define who is a stranger, who is family, who is within the circle of friends. Parents should spell out who is included in the circle of family, and then who is considered a family friend, and so on. Rules of engagement should be clearly defined, age appropriately, for the child. This way, the child will easily be able to identify who is a stranger, and know not to accept candies or go home with them. I have no problems telling our children if a sterling silver component is a clasp or a piece of chain. My four year old knows what to do when she sees something that looks like a clasp. Teaching them how to classify is important in everything we do. It is a basic tool, and in this case, an important one for survival.

Don't force your children to be affectionate to everyone. We all want our children to be polite to strangers and, especially, our friends. We want them to show affection to, even asking them to kiss, our friends and acquaintances, many of whom our children have just met. There are sometimes social expectations that polite children should do this. Parents sometimes get upset when they child is too shy to show such social graces. However, this tells a child that being affectionate to strangers is politeness and expected of them. Parents certainly don't want their child to be affectionate to strangers in the park. So, it is much better not to force a child to kiss, and instead to teach them how to say hello politely, or not say anything at all to a stranger in the park.

I have a few other personal beliefs along the same line:

Live in the safest neighbourhood you can possibly afford. My husband wanted to live in a more socio-economically mixed neighbourhood. He felt that our children should not be sheltered in a safe and affluent neighbourhood, not appreciating how other less fortunate people live. There have been many cases of abductions and murders by transient and criminal neighbours. My husband is an ideologue, but naive. I vetoed it reflexively. He has since changed his mind also. Designing sterling silver components is not financially very rewarding. If I have to, I'd make more jewellery and sales to live in a safer environment for my children. You can't control your neighbours, but you can choose where you live, and by doing so, you have already reduced the risks significantly.

Monitor play date environments. Play dates are great, but only if the environment is safe. Take it slow, have a few meals or outings with the other parents. Try to covertly find out what kind of environment they will provide your child, and what could happen when you are not present, and whether or not it is acceptable to you. Don't make it like a job interview or interrogation, but close. I know many parents raise an eyebrow when they hear that I design sterling silver components for a living. Stability is on their minds, too.

Put contact information with your child when the child is going out. I usually write a note "If I am separated from my parents, please call: ...." with all of the contact information. I do this even if I am going out with them, in case we become separated in a crowd. I also made a necklace with sterling silver components that could encase a little note in the locket. I made it unique and a bit interesting figuring that if a policeman found her, they were certain to ask her about the necklace or check it out.

Teach your child her full name and the parents' names as early as possible. At age two we taught our child to recite and spell out her full name and our first names, with the hope that in case she gets lost, and does not have our contact information on her, she could tell the authorities who she is and our names for easy contact. My older daughter liked pretty jewellery from an early age. I taught her to say Stones and Findings. It was not necessary, and a bit silly, but anything helps.

Be present. One of my friends was molested repeatedly by a sport instructor after sessions. You also hear about horrors of hockey coaches. If it is a private session, be present, or in the next room, and preferably with access to video monitoring. Be present, bring your sterling silver components and work on some designs to past the time, and insist on no alone time after sessions. If you cannot pick them up, ask a parent you can trust to help drop your child off. It is sick, but you do hear often paedophiles drawn to working with children for easier access. Minimize this access. Let the instructors know that you are involved and take an active interest in your child's safety.

To go back and read the first half of this article, Jewelry Parent Concerned about Sexual Predators 1 you can click here.

Jewellery Moms and Parenting Coach

I work full time in designing sterling silver jewellery components, and making jewellery. I also have 2 small children. Although I have a nanny to help care for my sometimes sweet, but often challenging, children, I know I need more reinforcement. I use a Parenting Coach and I highly recommend this support service to every parent, working or staying at home. Unlike a life coach or therapist, a Parenting Coach specializes in giving advice to parents on parenting and helping parents understand the family dynamics that are taking place around them.

Before my first child was born, I read What To Expect When You Are Expecting. And after she was born, and I had a glimpse of her strong characteristics, I read Raise Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice by Sarah Radcliffe, and Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline by Barbara Coloroso, and many other books on child rearing that I could find at the local and airport bookstores. They are all very good books, with a few novel tips from each, particularly Parent Talk by Shapiro and Skinulis. However, neither books nor parenting magazine articles were able to address some of the more specific obstacles that I had with my child's behaviour. This is inherently true of all such media, they must be fairly general and cannot take into consideration of one's specific circumstances. I have yet to read any article about a mom who has to put sterling silver jewellery components way up high, after she's finished designing late at night so that her 2 year old won't eat it for breakfast, at their condo that is not much bigger than a walk-in closet, and the mom has to travel to jewellery trade shows. If you have read such an article, please send it to me so that I can compare notes.

By fate, I bumped into a long time customer of my jewellery business, Patricia Lee. I've been raising money for charity for many years and twice a year we're open to the public for a few days where the proceeds of the sale are donated. At each event Patricia and I would chat about children, and it all started with my comment that her children are unusually well behaved and polite. We see many at our events and often I think mothers shouldn't bring their children. They are bored and displays get knocked. Sometimes they'd pull things apart because they like the shiny sterling silver jewellery components . It's just not fun for them, or at least it shouldn't be. I was not yet pregnant with my first child but I was curious about hers and they inspired me to think that it is possible to have wonderful and well behaved children of my own one day. She would always have great advice and clear insight. I never asked her what she did for a living and just assumed she was an accountant because of her thick glasses and tidy appearance. I assumed she was just a skilled mom , and there are many far better than me at the job. Last year by a chance meeting, I found out that she is a professional life and Parenting Coach and happened to be meeting a client in my area.

The time was ripe and our meeting was serendipitous. My husband and I were struggling with a bunch of behavioural problems with my older child and more disturbingly, a serious problem with one of her friends for which we were at a loss for a solution. I'll tell you about the problems and her advice another time. I became a client of hers. I already knew that her advice and views would resonate with me. I also like the fact that we could choose to work over the phone, and this convenience factor is very important to me. Parenting Coach fees are similar to those of any therapist, but she does give preferred rates based on what the parents can afford, and she often works pro bono and has volunteered working with native families on reserves. I received a preferred rate of $85 per 45 minute session. She said it's because we're friends, but I think secretly she knows I don't make much money from selling sterling silver jewellery components because the margins on silver is so low.

Our Parenting Coach session began with a series of broad ranging questions, including what do I hope to gain from our sessions, and what do I hope to see in my children. This was followed with more specific questions to help her fill the picture. And very quickly I was able to start addressing some concerns I had. Her advice have always been very specific and practical, and thus far has really helped us improve our communication with our daughters, helped give them age appropriate tools with which to express and channel their emotions. It has also given us insight into our own expectations as parents and has allowed us to adjust them appropriately. More importantly for me, her advice has helped me better cope with busy parenting and allow time for designing sterling silver jewellery components, and be a cheerleader for my husband.

I have since shared the lessons learned from my sessions with our child's kindergarten teacher, whose teaching skills and passion for teaching I also greatly respect. She is very keen on other parents also receiving this service and has expressed this to the school's principal. We plan on creating group sessions for parents who cannot afford the time or expense of private sessions or who just want to sample some of the advice.

I greatly advise Parenting Coach services to all parents. Like athletes, many parents can be great and naturally talented, but a coach can help take you to a higher level and allow you to perform far better than you would otherwise with just effort and practice. I am a talented jewellery components designer, as are many of our Stones And Findings customers are talented jewellery designers, but parenting requires much more time, effort and clarity for a great job to be done. Unlike a gold medal, the reward of well adjusted children who go on to be productive members of society keeps giving back. It is worth so much more and is never ending.

Future Divorce of a Sterling Silver Findings Designer I

My husband and I have decided that, when this starter marriage ends (I am a sterling silver findings designer, and we're happily married with 2 small and beautiful children, but you never know how it will turn out), we'll keep the lawyers totally out of it. We have seen how legal fees can get out of hand and the children are the ones to suffer, financially and emotionally. We've agreed that if there was to be any disagreements on money, we'd put it in a trust for our daughters.

I know we can plan for all eventualities, but when it comes to matters of the heart and one party becomes embittered, all rules of engagement are thrown out the window. I am quite self-reliant when it comes to happiness, and I am happy designing sterling silver findings forever. And I already know the only way I will become bitter is if he has an affair behind my back. We have discussed this, and like any business negotiations, much better to talk about it before relations sour. I think I can accept an affair if he told me before hand that he was struggling in our marriage. We have promised to do what we can to fix it, if it comes to that point. And if there is no fixing, then we can decide our next steps together. We can even have an open marriage. You can always be attracted to others outside of the marriage. It is human nature. However, in my opinion, how one decides to act on that attraction is fully within one's control. Mind you, that is just us. My husband and I made our wills shortly after we got married in our late 20's, and we got the deluxe package from our lawyer, spelling out all possible scenarios we could think of at the time. I know that this is not for everyone. My artistic outlet is in sterling silver findings and jewellery designing, and everything else, I am morbidly serious.

Our goal as parents is to provide the best upbringing we can for our children. I want to provide them with a safe and happy environment within which they can thrive. I understand there are no guarantees and although many parents try their best, terrible conflict and sadness can exist. At the same time, I have also seen difficult circumstances turn out well, where parents at conflict with one another share the only common interest of doing their best for their children. Divorces are commonplace in current times. We can certainly learn some lessons from our family and friends who have divorced, even breakups in business partnerships, which I had done before I began designing sterling silver findings. I will share these and other stories with you over a few articles.

I have a story of a successful divorce. The ex-husband is in the trade show transport business and had helped me move my jewellery trade show booth from show to show for years before I began designing sterling silver findings. He was a former professional rugby player who went into customer service in the transport business. He had three young daughters and divorced when the eldest was ten years old and the youngest was four. His ex-wife was an English teacher who cheated on him with a fellow teacher. He noticed something strange about their behaviour when they were at a work party. He confronted his wife, who admitted that she had been having an affair for a number of months. He felt partly to blame because he was traveling a lot for work, and thought perhaps he had neglected her. He decided to work on their marriage.

However, when he found out later that the affair was still going on, and she wanted two more months with the other person because he was "leaving anyway" for a new job, my friend decided to end the marriage. He first had a chat with his daughters to explain that he had to move out, but that he loved them and very little would change. Then he had a more in-depth with his older daughter, and made a promise that it would not affect them negatively and asked her to be a support to her younger sisters and be his ears and eyes looking out for them. He moved out and later bought a house down the street. They decided to have joint custody and not to involve any lawyers. Although my friend went through two years of immense pain, he kept the best interest of his daughters at heart. He did not tell them of their mother's affair even though the children were upset he moved out. Instead he encouraged their affection for their mother and remained supportive of her when the girls were upset with her. He did not fight for any of their joint assets because he felt that it was there for his daughters and he could always earn more.

Seven years on, his daughters are happy and healthy, and he still lives within walking distance of his ex-wife, who has since re-married. He still talks to his ex-wife regularly when they have to schedule pick up and drop off duties now that their daughters are busy with full schedule of extracurricular activities. His daughters spend just as much time at his home as they do at their mother's. He made a deal with his employer to work flexible time to spend more time with them. He is about to get remarried, and it was difficult to find this perfect person because he, his daughters, and the joint custody with his ex-wife all come in a complete package. It is a success story and I know it is more of an exception than the norm.

To continue reading part two of this article please click here