Jewellery Moms and Parenting Coach

I work full time in designing sterling silver jewellery components, and making jewellery. I also have 2 small children. Although I have a nanny to help care for my sometimes sweet, but often challenging, children, I know I need more reinforcement. I use a Parenting Coach and I highly recommend this support service to every parent, working or staying at home. Unlike a life coach or therapist, a Parenting Coach specializes in giving advice to parents on parenting and helping parents understand the family dynamics that are taking place around them.

Before my first child was born, I read What To Expect When You Are Expecting. And after she was born, and I had a glimpse of her strong characteristics, I read Raise Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice by Sarah Radcliffe, and Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline by Barbara Coloroso, and many other books on child rearing that I could find at the local and airport bookstores. They are all very good books, with a few novel tips from each, particularly Parent Talk by Shapiro and Skinulis. However, neither books nor parenting magazine articles were able to address some of the more specific obstacles that I had with my child's behaviour. This is inherently true of all such media, they must be fairly general and cannot take into consideration of one's specific circumstances. I have yet to read any article about a mom who has to put sterling silver jewellery components way up high, after she's finished designing late at night so that her 2 year old won't eat it for breakfast, at their condo that is not much bigger than a walk-in closet, and the mom has to travel to jewellery trade shows. If you have read such an article, please send it to me so that I can compare notes.

By fate, I bumped into a long time customer of my jewellery business, Patricia Lee. I've been raising money for charity for many years and twice a year we're open to the public for a few days where the proceeds of the sale are donated. At each event Patricia and I would chat about children, and it all started with my comment that her children are unusually well behaved and polite. We see many at our events and often I think mothers shouldn't bring their children. They are bored and displays get knocked. Sometimes they'd pull things apart because they like the shiny sterling silver jewellery components . It's just not fun for them, or at least it shouldn't be. I was not yet pregnant with my first child but I was curious about hers and they inspired me to think that it is possible to have wonderful and well behaved children of my own one day. She would always have great advice and clear insight. I never asked her what she did for a living and just assumed she was an accountant because of her thick glasses and tidy appearance. I assumed she was just a skilled mom , and there are many far better than me at the job. Last year by a chance meeting, I found out that she is a professional life and Parenting Coach and happened to be meeting a client in my area.

The time was ripe and our meeting was serendipitous. My husband and I were struggling with a bunch of behavioural problems with my older child and more disturbingly, a serious problem with one of her friends for which we were at a loss for a solution. I'll tell you about the problems and her advice another time. I became a client of hers. I already knew that her advice and views would resonate with me. I also like the fact that we could choose to work over the phone, and this convenience factor is very important to me. Parenting Coach fees are similar to those of any therapist, but she does give preferred rates based on what the parents can afford, and she often works pro bono and has volunteered working with native families on reserves. I received a preferred rate of $85 per 45 minute session. She said it's because we're friends, but I think secretly she knows I don't make much money from selling sterling silver jewellery components because the margins on silver is so low.

Our Parenting Coach session began with a series of broad ranging questions, including what do I hope to gain from our sessions, and what do I hope to see in my children. This was followed with more specific questions to help her fill the picture. And very quickly I was able to start addressing some concerns I had. Her advice have always been very specific and practical, and thus far has really helped us improve our communication with our daughters, helped give them age appropriate tools with which to express and channel their emotions. It has also given us insight into our own expectations as parents and has allowed us to adjust them appropriately. More importantly for me, her advice has helped me better cope with busy parenting and allow time for designing sterling silver jewellery components, and be a cheerleader for my husband.

I have since shared the lessons learned from my sessions with our child's kindergarten teacher, whose teaching skills and passion for teaching I also greatly respect. She is very keen on other parents also receiving this service and has expressed this to the school's principal. We plan on creating group sessions for parents who cannot afford the time or expense of private sessions or who just want to sample some of the advice.

I greatly advise Parenting Coach services to all parents. Like athletes, many parents can be great and naturally talented, but a coach can help take you to a higher level and allow you to perform far better than you would otherwise with just effort and practice. I am a talented jewellery components designer, as are many of our Stones And Findings customers are talented jewellery designers, but parenting requires much more time, effort and clarity for a great job to be done. Unlike a gold medal, the reward of well adjusted children who go on to be productive members of society keeps giving back. It is worth so much more and is never ending.

Sterling Silver Earring Components

There are limitless possible earring designs. However, popular Earrings have certain Jewellery Components in common. These Jewellery Components fall under the general categories of: Earring Hook component, and Findings, and sometimes Chains for longer earrings.
Earring Hook Component

This is the Earring Component that attaches the earring to the ear. It can be in the form of a Earring Hook, Earring Stud, Clip-On Backing. Stones And Findings carry a number of Silver Earring Hooks, Silver Leverbacks, and Silver Earring Studs Sterling Silver Earring Findings, as well as Gold-Filled Earring Hooks and Gold-filled Leverbacks, and Gold Filled Earring Studs Gold Filled Findings.
Open ended Silver Earring Componentsallow for Semi-precious stone beads crystals to be inserted, and then a loop to be made for additional Earring Drops to be added. This allows for rather unusual accents for your Earring Designs.
Leverback Earring Components

Leverback Earring Components are wonderful and preferred by many Jewellery Designers because they don't fall off the ear no matter how active the wearer is, and no matter how much their ear piercing has been stretched. The best Silver Leverback Earring Components come from Italian and Chinese factories, using Italian machines. Stay away from Silver Leverback Earring Components made in India, Thailand, and Bali. The spring mechanisms are not as strong, and don't spring back the way Italian machine made ones do. The price difference for Silver Leverback Earring Components is negligible, but the quality is highly noticeable.
Earring Studs

Earrings Studs are sometimes preferred to Earring Hooks, especially for those whose ear piercings have been stretched. The Earring Stud hides the stretched holes, which Earring Hooks do not. Silver Earring Studs and Gold-Filled Earring Studs are better than base metal because they come into contact with the skin. Some people are allergic to base metals, and even if there is a protective plating, the inside metal will leech out, sometimes changing the colour of a person's skin. Earring Studs have more contact area with the skin.

Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers

There are many Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers. All major Canadian cities have a large supplier of jewellery components. Many of them are located in Toronto. Most of these are bead stores that also wholesale. There are only a few, like Stones And Findings, that is not open to the public unless at tradeshows, or have minimums for wholesale pricing.

Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers tend to be smaller than the American ones. This is to be expected as the American population is ten times that of Canada. Also, with the proliferation of online shopping, it is just as easy to buy from the USA. Because they are larger, they might be able to bargain for larger quantity discounts. However, much of the price discounts are cancelled out by the added shipping and duties. When it comes to buying stone beads and pearls, it is rather difficult to buy from across the border because returns, if they are accepted by the harsher trading terms of American jewellery component suppliers, are difficult to get tax refunds for. Stones And Findings makes online shopping easier for stones, pearls and findings. Provided that regularly priced merchandise is not cut or altered, it can be returned within 7 days of purchase, available on the receipt. No other American or Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers do this. American suppliers are usually more focused with fewer categories of product than Canadian ones. This is largely because there are more competitors, hence, specializing is necessary to remain competitive. However, when they have a large variety, these American outlets are big. That doesn't necessarily translate into better prices are service.

Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers tend to be closer knit because there are fewer circuits for exhibiting, and everyone knows one another. It is a predominantly friendly and congenial group, though price competition is fierce. Great customer service is fairly standard, as with cost savings in proximity. To survive against large online sellers down south, and tight competition in at home Canadian suppliers have had to adapt and offer things that are different. Some, like Stones And Findings, travel a great deal to hand pick stones and provide assurance of quality and create cuts that no one else has. We also create sterling silver findings and chains of our own. This has allowed us to be able to sell to Americans and others around the world. So, Canadians have had to work harder and be more creative to remain competitive in this market.

Outside of the regular circuits of tradeshows , there are also the Mode Accessories and Gift Shows, such as the Vancouver, Alberta, Toronto, and Montreal Gift Shows. These are wholesale only and generally carry anything from housewares to clothing. There may be one or two jewellery component suppliers. Most of these stores will also have websites you can visit online, however it is not really worth visiting these shows only for jewellery component suppliers.

Bead stores are an important group among Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers. Usually prices are negotiable if you buy large quantities or are a regular customer. Their prices are higher than wholesalers in part because what you�re paying for is design support and convenience of location and service. If you find components that you like from a distant place, or if you only want a small quantity, you can ask them to bring it in for you. In fact, Stones And Findings sells to a number of bead stores, and we even have customers who have asked their local store to bring in certain jewellery components that they have seen on our website. Canadian Jewellery Component Suppliers are not only amiable and hard working, they are helpful and flexible.

Sterling Silver Components Trunk Show

Recently I've been approached by a bead store to see about doing a trunk show of sterling silver components at her bead store. Stones And Findings has some of, if not outright, the best sterling silver components in Canada. We design many of our own findings and carry unique designs from European jewellery component designers. So, it came as no surprise that she would want us to do this at her store. She's certain of its success and was willing to do all of the preparation and tagging work. My surprise is that we do not do hold more trunk shows, especially given the current economic times and given how prolific our line of designs is. This goes not only for jewellery components, but also for finished jewellery and other design goods.

The model for her "bonanza show" is this: we ship her unusual goods unmarked for retail, and whatever she does not return to us, she pays for. Her show was just 1 day, held at 8pm until mid-night. She had recently completed a similar show for stone beads and it went phenomenally well. She sends out regular newsletters to a large audience of customers.

This trunk show, as with many other forms of trunk shows, provides a unique opportunity for the designer to showcase his or her range of designs, many pieces of which are not carried by the store regularly because of high unit cost and or the uniqueness of certain pieces that will not speak to the mass market. After all, every business survives on turnover, and selling sterling silver jewellery components is no different. The boutique owners, the bead store in this case, wants to test the market for certain price points and looks. And this is the best way to do it. I've already written an article on how jewellery trunk shows How to Put on your First Trunk Show work. It is mutually beneficial to store and the designer.

There are a few things that are vital for a sterling silver jewellery components show, like any trunk show, to be successful. The bead store must already have a large customer list that they can contact about the event. Otherwise, the store must buy a great deal of advertising. Press is usually very difficult to get, even if the event would be of interest to many people. The designer must have a variety of designs from which to choose. Otherwise, you don't get the maximum results out of the captive audience. They don't all want the same thing, and most of them come to shows if they know there will be unique items that would not be available any other time. I think I'm going to being more of items like this large leaf and some of this heavier chain. They are more exclusive and luxury items that speak to more than just the pedestrian consumer. The customer who values quality craftsmanship will understand our jewellery component designs. And I hope the show will give a stronger indication of the bead store's customer tastes. It is best if the show has a theme. If it is jewellery, then it must be designs of a certain designer. If this is a prolific designer, then the lines must be edited for a clearer theme. You may choose to do more than 1 show, each with a different theme. It must be easy for the consumer to understand. Otherwise, they'll be going to a bazaar. We will be focusing the show as a sterling silver jewellery components show.

All this said such shows are a lot of work and perhaps this is why there are so few of them. However, they are a lot of fun and offer unique opportunities for business growth. I will let you know how it goes with our sterling silver jewellery components show.

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Future Divorce of a Sterling Silver Findings Designer II

In my world of sterling silver findings and jewellery designing, I often see troubled relationships. Women speak much more freely about them than their male counterparts. Sometimes separations start off well, but go awry and turn ugly. My dentist has just told me the legal fees for her divorce proceeding have exceeded $100,000. She has a very successful dental practice and her ex-husband has changed his mind and now wants a larger share. He in fact has made it clear he wants to get even, at any cost. He does not care if financially the daughters are to suffer, as long as the mother suffers because word got back to him that she told her friends she sees her initial divorce settlement as expensive sperm service. His feelings of inadequacy, which dogged their marriage, returned in the most destructive way. This battle continues with no end in sight. It is a pity when people become fixated and myopic, doing damage to themselves and their children.

I often feel that while I enjoy creating sterling silver findings, I might I have missed my true calling as a soldier of justice, a.k.a. a lawyer. I often spend chatting with my friends and live the legal vicariously through them. I have a friend who is a divorce lawyer. He was one of the top students in my high school who, we all felt, was destined for more. He has become jaded and bitter about how his own life has turned out even though he has done well financially. He feels no one wins in a nasty, drawn out divorce case, not even the lawyers. Both parties become bitter, and stay bitter, even when they win a better settlement than they had expected. They also hate the lawyers, whom they view as vultures in the carnage. It is a terrible situation for all, even the party looking for revenge. Satisfaction in the courtroom is elusive.

I read in the newspaper recently that the average Canadian divorce costs about $20,000 when lawyers are involved. I am sure this is an underestimated, but even at this amount, as a humble maker of sterling silver findings, I know I best avoid the cost. The average cost for a decent lawyer is $400 per hour, and there is an additional minimum of $10,000 if the battle enters the courtroom. With lawyers, you get what you pay for. And I have important advice: do not cheap out on lawyers if you have to engage in a legal battle. There are many incompetent lawyers and certainly most judges either do not have the wisdom to see past poor legal performance and see fairness, or they do not sympathize. Some judges simply hate incompetent lawyers and will teach them a lesson at their client's expense. I've been in that situation for a different type of legal matter. To put it positively, judges are human and not infallible. So, it is best to hire the best guns to fight on your side, if you cannot avoid the battle altogether. And even if your lawyer seems competent, do not trust him blindly. He works not for you, but for himself, which means not necessarily for your best interest. Also, he might not know best even if he has the best intentions. If you do not like how he is positioning or bargaining, insist on what you want. He is under your employ and do not let him forget that. Lawyers are like sterling silver findings. If it is right and there is a good fit, you will quickly know it. If it is not, do not throw in more components just to try to make it work. It will not, and it will only end up costing you more.

You might have sensed my disdain for lawyers and judges from the above paragraph. I do not hate them; my brother is a lawyer, my grandfather was a judge, and most of my close friends are lawyers. I was studying to become one myself and through fate and good fortune, I got into designing jewellery and sterling silver findings and avoided a life of unhappiness. From the experience of my recent legal battle, I am forever cured of any illusions about the glamour of the profession or that justice can be found in the courtroom. And so, I am highly committed to finding our own solution, if and when the time comes to end this lovely marriage. If I become bitter, I will spend more time making jewellery and I will retain my sanity and happiness.

To go back and read part one of this article please click here.

Future Divorce of a Sterling Silver Findings Designer I

My husband and I have decided that, when this starter marriage ends (I am a sterling silver findings designer, and we're happily married with 2 small and beautiful children, but you never know how it will turn out), we'll keep the lawyers totally out of it. We have seen how legal fees can get out of hand and the children are the ones to suffer, financially and emotionally. We've agreed that if there was to be any disagreements on money, we'd put it in a trust for our daughters.

I know we can plan for all eventualities, but when it comes to matters of the heart and one party becomes embittered, all rules of engagement are thrown out the window. I am quite self-reliant when it comes to happiness, and I am happy designing sterling silver findings forever. And I already know the only way I will become bitter is if he has an affair behind my back. We have discussed this, and like any business negotiations, much better to talk about it before relations sour. I think I can accept an affair if he told me before hand that he was struggling in our marriage. We have promised to do what we can to fix it, if it comes to that point. And if there is no fixing, then we can decide our next steps together. We can even have an open marriage. You can always be attracted to others outside of the marriage. It is human nature. However, in my opinion, how one decides to act on that attraction is fully within one's control. Mind you, that is just us. My husband and I made our wills shortly after we got married in our late 20's, and we got the deluxe package from our lawyer, spelling out all possible scenarios we could think of at the time. I know that this is not for everyone. My artistic outlet is in sterling silver findings and jewellery designing, and everything else, I am morbidly serious.

Our goal as parents is to provide the best upbringing we can for our children. I want to provide them with a safe and happy environment within which they can thrive. I understand there are no guarantees and although many parents try their best, terrible conflict and sadness can exist. At the same time, I have also seen difficult circumstances turn out well, where parents at conflict with one another share the only common interest of doing their best for their children. Divorces are commonplace in current times. We can certainly learn some lessons from our family and friends who have divorced, even breakups in business partnerships, which I had done before I began designing sterling silver findings. I will share these and other stories with you over a few articles.

I have a story of a successful divorce. The ex-husband is in the trade show transport business and had helped me move my jewellery trade show booth from show to show for years before I began designing sterling silver findings. He was a former professional rugby player who went into customer service in the transport business. He had three young daughters and divorced when the eldest was ten years old and the youngest was four. His ex-wife was an English teacher who cheated on him with a fellow teacher. He noticed something strange about their behaviour when they were at a work party. He confronted his wife, who admitted that she had been having an affair for a number of months. He felt partly to blame because he was traveling a lot for work, and thought perhaps he had neglected her. He decided to work on their marriage.

However, when he found out later that the affair was still going on, and she wanted two more months with the other person because he was "leaving anyway" for a new job, my friend decided to end the marriage. He first had a chat with his daughters to explain that he had to move out, but that he loved them and very little would change. Then he had a more in-depth with his older daughter, and made a promise that it would not affect them negatively and asked her to be a support to her younger sisters and be his ears and eyes looking out for them. He moved out and later bought a house down the street. They decided to have joint custody and not to involve any lawyers. Although my friend went through two years of immense pain, he kept the best interest of his daughters at heart. He did not tell them of their mother's affair even though the children were upset he moved out. Instead he encouraged their affection for their mother and remained supportive of her when the girls were upset with her. He did not fight for any of their joint assets because he felt that it was there for his daughters and he could always earn more.

Seven years on, his daughters are happy and healthy, and he still lives within walking distance of his ex-wife, who has since re-married. He still talks to his ex-wife regularly when they have to schedule pick up and drop off duties now that their daughters are busy with full schedule of extracurricular activities. His daughters spend just as much time at his home as they do at their mother's. He made a deal with his employer to work flexible time to spend more time with them. He is about to get remarried, and it was difficult to find this perfect person because he, his daughters, and the joint custody with his ex-wife all come in a complete package. It is a success story and I know it is more of an exception than the norm.

To continue reading part two of this article please click here

The Art of Creative Jewellery Designing

The title of this article seems grammatically incorrect. However, there is no mistake. There is the science and discipline of jewellery making, even jewellery designing. Then there is the art of it. And to top it off, there is certainly the art of creative jewellery designing. Empirical method and precise routine is import in any business, even if it is jewellery making, because it helps ensure repeatability, accountability, and viability, if combined with many other factors. However, there is the art of designing. It is essentially random creativity. There are talented writers who work nine hours solidly every day, 6 days a week. Then there are those whose genius shows through throwing together thoughts and ideas that, independently, make no sense but, together, seem inseparable. I want to talk about that kind of creativity in jewellery designing.

There are some jewellery designers who work at designs over and over again, virtually splitting hairs. Sometimes it is beautiful, but often the rigidity with which they had made the piece shows through. The jewellery components seem to go together, but they don’t gel and become something greater than the combination of themselves. It is almost like the Pointilism art movement of pictures created by the tiniest of dots. There is something desirable about the obvious painstaking work involved, but it lacks flow, drama or gusto. Designers who mull over jewellery components and rework them for too long are usually obsessed with symmetry. I go through phases of designing and am sometimes guilty of doing the same. This is usually following a bad season, but not bad enough for me to become infuriated and rejecting of all convention and advice. When I am in this phase, I am hesitant and think that if I worked hard enough at something, then the work will come through and people will want to buy the jewellery. Inevitably, I become somewhat correct. I avoid a disastrous selling season, but I don’t have boundary shattering masterpieces and phenomenal sales.

I find I am most creative, and where the collection provides the best sales results, when I am in a true bind with time. When that happens, I don’t have enough time to over-think my jewellery components. I simply throw them together, sometimes quite literally, and usually they land in some unconventional position or manner. Some of my best collections were all designed within less than 14 hours. The handwork and additional colour combinations of those designs might take a little longer, but no more than another rush of creativity when I’m rushed. Who says gold, silver and rhodium chains cannot be fashioned together with pearls of opposing colours? Or that fine filigree will be outweighed by heavy chunks of stone? Or oxidized chains combined with high shine silver? I've taken a number of our textured findings and oxidized them, and put them together with gold vermeil and roman coins . It created an old world charm with the rich sheen of gold. I could have gone further to throw in red jade and some matte lava rock. Unique.

I didn't do very well in fine arts. Although I had what I will admit as talent in portraiture, I lacked confidence and fluidity in all other areas of studio art. The same can be said about me personally. But when you don't have time to worry about perfection, you become less rigid. The very fact that you don't have time, or you don't have all of the normal ingredients you'd like, gives you an excuse to liberate yourself from one's shackles of limitation most people put on themselves. Then, it becomes okay to throw jewellery components together. And it’s perfectly acceptable that things aren't perfect because....

The art of creative jewellery designing is then the removal of the effort, science and logic of piecing jewellery components together. Let the components fall where they may (but edit a little).